This week has been so nostalgic, first it was Dr Kaine Diete-Spiff who has been my friend since 1987, 33 years, then it was finally seeing my classmates from chemical engineering class of 98, 22 years later, Ramat a former Muslim who is now Immanuella Ugbodaga and Mazi Obiora Udenka, its so great how we just excitedly kicked off like we all just saw yesterday.
Do not burn bridges, when you make new relationships, don’t do away with old ones.
The friendships you make in your formative years, when in Quote, “you have not arrived, you have not hammered”, in Nigeria Street code, these to me, are your real friends, they love you for you are and not what you seemingly have or seem to have become.
These friends have in quote, seen you finish, there’s no forming with them.
I went first to Bodija international school, Ibadan, then Ogbe Nursery school, Warri, Nana primary school, Warri, then NNPC staff school Warri, where I was the first ever head girl. I then left for Rivers state, FGGC Abuloma, then Uniben, Benin City.
My relationships today date back as far as Ogbe Nursery school, I dont throw away my friends, I dont give up on anyone, I am not of the new school of thought that you should move on.
My network is my wealth. You see these people got you, that’s why I participate actively in our Alumni groups, I give when I can, because I want to and not out of compulsion. I attend meetings and like hosting, especially the parties. Because I am extra like that and one of my strengths is hospitality.
I am very weary of “new kids on the block”, I am so grateful to God for meeting new people, don’t get me wrong, but I really question their intentions and motives.
With my old friends there’s no pretence, no forming, no putting up an act, no facades and no charades. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET.
SO, MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS TODAY? , WHO HAS STAYED IN YOUR LIFE FOR AT LEAST 40 YEARS OR SO?.
MY Bee Ojoh has been in my life since I was like 5 years old, close to 40 years. We’re tight, you need people in your life who are not afraid to “call you out” when you are badly behaved.
People who are not fake, who have nothing to gain from flattering you, who are not afraid to tell you off, who can tell you your mouth is smelling without breaking your heart, YOU NEED REAL PEOPLE. NOT SYCOPHANTS, NOT PRETENDERS, NOT ASS LICKERS.
Soround yourself with the right people, iron sharpeneth iron, some friends stick closer than brothers. At the same time some are wolves in sheep clothing, they are snakes, the same bible says it was my friend, the one who I ate from the same plate that sold me out, that betrayed me.
Pray that God gives you a discerning spirit to know the difference between true friends and family and the snakes in your life. The wisdom to know why someone is hanging around you, why they are in your life and space.
Trust me nothing is hidden from God. And he reveals the secret things to you if you know how to access his heart, if you can just get into his presence and be quiet.
Do your friends love what you love? Do you have shared values? , Are you principled people? Do you all walk and work in integrity? Depending on your faith, do you align? , Or are you unequally yoked? Do you recreate together?, as in party together, hang out, do you respect each other’s spouses and families? Do you have shared interests? Do they inspire you? motivate you to do better and be better? Do you want to be like them? Do they cheer you on when you’re doing well? Pick you up when you are down? can you call them to vent.?, , or just to share your joy?.
Show me your friends and I’ll define you and where you are headed in life.
Today successful people are that way not just because of mental intelligence but they have emotional intelligence, emotional quotient.
That is why organisations are big on people who have a team spirit.
SO, WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?, WHO HAS GOT YOUR BACK?, WHO IS IN YOUR CORNER ?, YOU NEED TO ANSWER THIS FOR YOURSELF.
Enough said.
Yours in his majesty’s service
*** Ajiri Okoro
Shout out to my padis for life, Kinika Opaleye Iguehi Mary Nduka Tipu Osagie Anastasia Akpoke Tayo Sanni Salami Mary Waniko Adamu Alakhume Jite Ikutegbe Titiloye Bunmi Ajagunna Elizabeth Udoudo Elfrida Omole Felicity Amure Lucy Idaboh Halima Young-Sidi Patrick-Payne Julie Omolabi Juliet Nwosu-Okolo Juliet Ibhanesebhor Obehi Eremiokhale, Mar Glo Nkeiruka Onyeaso-Mgbeoji Pipi Inengite karina Daniel, Anita Okoro Manisha Onifade Nwaneri Funmi Olufemi Adetokunbo Adaralegbe Nkechi Okoli Boma Onipe ayodeji Ayo Lawrence Mitchell Dubem.
